It’s Official. – by Lacee Hilgen

I have been home for almost 2 months and the dreaded day has come for me to finally end this blog and admit that my time at Legacy is done.

I am so very grateful for my time spent in Thailand, fully immersed in the culture, completely involved with my fellow volunteers, my students and the Sextons. We created a family unit in 10 months that completely changed my life, perspective and my heart.

Let’s take a quick stroll down memory lane. Let the tears begin.

On the other hand, I was that girl running through the LAX airport to get through customs so I could finally be reunited with my family. I am so very happy to be home and back in the groove of things, despite my home sickness for all things Thailand. Upon coming home I was overwhelmed with emotions as I saw all my family, hopped on my surfboard, and slept in my overly soft bed. Some other fantastic things were eating In N Out, (a few more times than I shall admit to) dryers, and good beer. I loved seeing my friends after a week or two. (Thanks friends for being patient as I acclimated to real life again) Some things that were a shock was the fact that I was freezing at night and walked around my house in pants socks and a hoodie, being in large groups was even more terrifying than usual, and turning on the shower for the first time led to loud screams from yours truly because of the overly high pressured weapon of a water stream that was attacking my body. (No wonder we are in a drought people!) I also got pulled over for running a stop sign but the officer was understanding as I frantically sputtered out, “There are no stop signs in Thailand. Everyone is white here and I can understand EVERYONE and I’m confused and I’m sorry.” I also say “Thank You” in Thai to people in the customer service field and I just ignore their looks of confusion.

It was a total overload to be home, it was actually very very hard. I am finally getting used to our fast paced and irrationally stressful society. (But I have promised to not go back into that world, because I unknowingly lived there for 24 years) Despite the fact that I miss my students so bad that it hearts my little heart, I came home worried that I wouldn’t feel like I had a purpose. I had a few moments while being home that I wanted to up and go back but thankfully God opened a number of doors for me to serve others at home and to remain involved with Legacy until the end of my days. I “found my niche” as one of my besties told me while I was skyping her at Legacy. I didn’t believe her then but I now know that her wisdom was true. While being away, God showed me my calling. And I realized we ALL have one. I thought it was just the important people. But it’s us too! Be excited.

Now that I am home, I do realize I don’t have to travel the world non stop to feel accomplished. I do know that I DID have to go to Thailand to understand what God’s job for me on this earth is though. It’s all a wonderful and amazing process to look back on and piece together all the steps and instances and revelations.

To answer the #1 question I get asked, “Are you going to go back?” YES! (Wait don’t freak out yet, keep reading) I am totally going to go back to visit when I make myself some money! I don’t plan on serving at Legacy again but I am not shutting the door to any opportunity to go back there or any other place in need. Wherever God wants me, I’ll be there… even though praying that prayer was the scariest prayer I have ever prayed and afterwards I said, “WAIT… NO I take it back! I can’t do that. Never mind God, I don’t take it back. Let’s do it.” <<< My brain, ladies an gentleman.

I want to thank all of you who followed my blog and who kept up with me. I didn’t realize how many of you were reading about my time at Legacy, let alone enjoying them. I highly appreciate you taking this journey with me. And I will say this really quickly so I don’t get all mushy. There were lots of moments when I felt lost, alone and overwhelmed while being away. However, hearing from all of you after I would post a blog, gave me comfort because I knew the prayers and love were coming in. I just really want to say thank you so much! Your notes, emails and facebook messages left me in tears many a times. Thanks for the prayers and thank you for loving Legacy and the work that is happening over there! I am going to leave a link below for the Legacy website so you can donate if you are able. Legacy desperately needs money… in all honesty, so anything would help. I want to see Legacy continue to provide for those in need… and God’s church really does need Legacy to help produce godly leaders who can one day serve the brethren in Burma. Your donations and prayers go leaps and bounds!

http://legacyinstitute.org/

I thank God daily for helping me realize that I should never fathom investing my life in anything other than God because what I learned over there from experience and from my students is that a life without doing God’s purpose is meaningless. I don’t care how cheesy it sounds… a piece of my heart was left in Thailand and Burma and there it will stay.

In the words of another wise person in my life: “Live a radical, devoted and committed life for God. Go deep. Exercise yourself beyond the confines of the standard, to do things that demand every bit of yourself. Don’t pacify yourself with a lesser thing. Don’t skate the surface of life. Be consumed by Him.”

Thank you all so much. I love you all and the short journey we enjoyed together.

Until the next adventure,

Lacee Hilgen

(Original blog address – https://laceehilg.wordpress.com/2015/06/13/its-official/)